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Jimi Wanjigi, your next president has been launched. Be happy

11 mins read
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Jimi Wanjigi finally got a party where he did not need Raila’s approval to run for, and win the presidency which is what the businessman promised to do as ODM candidate. Until he was stopped by Raila or so he alleges because he is more popular in ODM than Odinga and was ready to beat him in the primaries for the presidential seat ticket.

As luck would have it for Jimi, Safina Party was waiting with all doors open for him and he rushed in there pronto, and apparently, the Safina doors were so wide open that he could sneak somebody else in there with him.

And who other than William Ruto did Wanjigi pull in.

Yes so we have an alleged presidential candidate being nominated, inviting another person pursuing the same job and we all know this is kind of a silly joke not on Kenyans but on the sad actors involved.

Before we rule out Jimi Wanjigi as some kind of insane person, lets consider the fact that other Kenyan politicians who do their politics on Twitter and are struggling to jump into the Ruto bandwagon but are too slow like Ahmednassir Abdullahi (who is a fairly normal person) had declared his message months ago that Jimi Wanjigi was going to win the ODM nomination ahead of Raila, and if he doesn’t – he will leave ODM in tatters.

Read: Lawyer Ahmednassir Abdullahi should stop inciting Tribalism for Ruto

Wanjigi’s operation has been pretty hectic.

First, he was in OKA with the likes of Kalonzo and Gideon Moi trying to invent himself as a member of that coalition. He was thrown out of there when the outfit’s principals figured Wanjigi was joining OKA as a William Ruto mole and had no interest in them at all. After that, he was back at ODM trying his same tricks there and it all fell apart.

A few things are outstanding in this new theatrics by Wanjigi. One is that he would never have found a better person to soil with his going nowhere politics than Paul Muite who has had a distinguished political life in Kenya.

Paul Muite has been at every turn of the Kenyan struggle to bring democracy, putting an end to one-party dictatorship, and in the battles for a new constitution.

It was kind of bothersome to see Paul Muite there doing his best to make sense out of it all and eventually inviting William Ruto to come to join them after Wanjigi wins the presidency on August 9, 2022.

I wish there was any other line of work like running to be the next president of Kenya.

Forget about every Tom and Dick story, this is like every dish of Kachumbari wants to be our next president, and if you say ”Nah” the dish is emptying all the hot sauce in your open eyes.

Better get some water quick.

Jimi Wanjigi knows he has zero votes to win anything in Kenya, even if he tried going for an MCA slot somewhere near his house. But he is too rich to be trying to get an MCA job. He is a Kenyan billionaire even though none of us ever heard about what job he does or what business he runs to earn all that money. His primary work is to be a billionaire and when you are that rich with no work to do why not become our president?

Maybe once Wanjigi becomes our president he would teach every Kenyan how to be a billionaire without doing any work even for a single day. I would like to have that myself.

I have been working for the same employer here in Toronto for the last 25 years and they only increase our salaries once every few years and anytime I go to Kenya with my family, they tell me I have to be back in three months max.

Give me a few billions and I am in for the 2027 presidential elections and will give Kalonzo Muysoka a tough run.

I wouldn’t even bother joining a political party like ODM or any other of those Maziwa Lala groups. I will boldly form the Adongo Ogony Revolutionary Action Party (AORAP) and will start shouting Viva Kenya libre every day, and abusing all my competitors until I am in State House. I will be doing this on Twitter so anybody hoping to give me a kick to behave will not find me. Viva!

This reminds me of some really weird politics going on today, as we approach the end of March with the elections just a few months away and things on the ground getting tighter than never before for the 2022 vote. Anybody with eyes and ears can see the outlines of this election which looks good for some people and not so good for others.

Out of desperation, or whatever nightmares some politicians are going through, our politics now has evolved into abusive screams that would make 7-year-old boys having a little shouting march be very proud that they are at least above such dirt.

And then we have the Moses Kurias who have reduced themselves to their very last hope that inciting tribal hatred and even warfare would give them the best chance in the elections.

Kuria is talking about oathing taken in Gatundu in 1969 and warning every Kikuyu who does not follow the demands of the oath, including President Uhuru Kenyatta, that they will be cursed.

I have no idea what happens when someone is cursed. Do they fall off their chairs in pain or do they end up in a car accident? How old was Kuria when they took the oath in 1969? He probably doesn’t remember.

Anybody thinking that the National Cohesion and Integration Commission (NCIC) would solve these problems should stop wasting their time.

This is a commission that was set up to do nothing about tribalism and hatred in Kenya which is useful for politicians and they have done that job perfectly.

In any event, what the Kurias in their little world want is for tribes like Kikuyus and Luos to go into a tizzy fit and be ready for battle. Sorry buddy but you are not going to get what you are looking for.

Kenyans are way much smarter than the bigoted losers think. Those tribalists will be on their own come August 9, 2022. What they do or don’t do with their private organs would be of no interest to them anymore as it is always irrelevant to any normal thinking people.

On the issue of oathing, I had a strange trouble with Moi’s Secret police when they arrested me in 1986, took me to Nyayo House for some good torture and the cops told me I took an oath to be a member of the underground Mwakenya movement which was scaring Moi.

I asked the security boss to tell me how oaths are taken. Like what do you drink and what else happens then maybe I can recall if I ever did such a thing because I honestly had no idea how people take oaths.

Immediately the security boss said I was making fun of them and trying to make them look stupid and they had to give me a real wallop for that.

Since then, I don’t talk about oaths that much and trust me after August 9, 2022, even the Kuria and his friends who carry him all over the county and invite him to throw up his tribalism at people will find other things to talk about than oaths and petty tribalism. That time is coming pretty fast. There is no escape from it.

The tribalists will have to be satisfied with the therapy of a good defeat and political beat-up at the polls. Kenyans will give them that therapy for free since they will be broke at that time anyway and no more money from William Ruto.

Oh God please have mercy on the poor souls. They are still your children.

Adongo Ogony is a Human Rights Activist and a Writer who lives in Toronto, Canada

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