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Kill Me Quick. New Ruto government plan for Kenyans. Brilliant.

9 mins read

Moses Kuria wants to change his title from the CS of Trade to simply the CS of Kill Me Quick. Kuria is worried that there are not enough health hazards that take the lives of Kenyans, so he is on a mission to address that problem very quickly.

“We have so many things that can kill us in the country. Being in this country, you are a candidate for death,” he said.

“And because so many things compete for death, there is nothing wrong with adding GMOs to that list. That is why we have deliberately allowed GMO until we are satisfied that we have enough maize, the staple food.”

Kuria forgot one thing he and his rich friends are not going to be eating that poisonous GM maize flour. They are not going to serve that GMO dish at State House either. So instead of Kuria talking about “many things that can kill US” he should be clear that these are death plans for the poor and miserable Kenyans without food and not for the big boys like him and his boss.

In fact, none of these problems killing ordinary Kenyans will ever come close to the rich and those in power. They don’t have robbers and muggers outside their doors and in their streets. They have police escorts everywhere and live in secluded places where even walking around can get you arrested.

The health hazards like malaria, cholera, and others will never come near them because they enjoy best health services available in Kenya. Even the police violence that kills many Kenyans is directed by them, not at them. So when you are that safe in a country in chaos, what is to stop you from finding other ways to add to the menu of things that kill Kenyans? You know it will never affect you.

The problem with GMO food from the scientific evidence available is that GMO food kills you slowly not as quickly as Kuria and company may want. It puts poisons in your body that can lead to having cancer and other terrible diseases. Those things don’t kill you fast. They grow in you and take you to your grave after some time.

The problem for ordinary Kenyans is that God forbid you get cancer and those types of diseases you can forget about getting treatment because you can’t afford it. So maybe this could work just okay for the Kurias and get Kenyans knocked out fast enough so the Ruto government doesn’t have to worry about them.

This Ruto mob has been having cabinet meetings lately and Kenyans would have hoped that they are trying to talk sense there and stop behaving like lunatics on a rampage, trying to grab the attention of Kenyans. Well, we can forget that now. We still have five-year-old kids with big toys in their hands. They are knocking themselves to the ground hitting their heads with those toys to see how they work. Nobody can help them.

And it is not just the myopic types like Kuria talking crap to Kenyans. It is as if they are all competing on who can be more stupid. Yesterday we had the CS for Foreign Affairs Alfred Mutua talking about the Ruto government bringing M-Pesa to the diaspora. Excuse me, dude, we have had M-Pesa all over the diaspora for more than a decade now.

Foreign and Diaspora Affairs Cabinet Secretary Alfred Mutua is on an official visit to the USA where he has been visiting Kenya’s foreign missions.

Appreciating the huge contribution they make to the economy through their remittances, Mutua assured them that Ruto’s government will enact changes that will impact them positively.

Among the changes will be a diaspora M-Pesa service and a banking and loan system for Kenyans to save at home.

“That will encourage Kenyans and foreigners to invest in Kenya so that they can take advantage of the Public Private Partnership programme and low-cost housing ventures and other projects in Kenya,” he said

Mr. Mutua, right now anyone of us can send whatever amount of money we need to send to our family and business colleagues through M-Pesa. Here in Canada where I live every bank in the country is linked to M-Pesa. You want to send money you don’t even have to go to the bank. Pick up your phone and just send the money through your bank account to your M-Pesa account at home and it is Kenya in one minute.

It is structured in such a way that you can send money from anywhere. If I am in Italy I use my same bank account to send money to Kenya. We know you all need that media attention but please try to address real issues that Kenyans are dealing with wherever they are.

Having M-Pesa is the least of our issues. Stop inventing problems that have already been solved by the smart investors we have in Kenya.

That Safaricom M-Pesa invention is by far one of the best things to happen in Kenya. And they have expanded everywhere. When I first came to Canada sending money to my mother was a complete nightmare. Buy a money order from your bank. Then I mail the money order to the Post Office in my town. My mother would then go to the Chief of her location. The Chief then goes and picks up the money order. Then he deposits it in his bank.

It would take 3-6 months from the day I send the money for her to get it. Nobody was sending money to Kenya in those days. It was harder to send the money than go to work and get the money. Safaricom changed all that and opened a whole new world for our country with no fanfare.

Our problem is how to buy equipment for investment in Kenya, pay taxes where we buy them abroad and then pay excise duty and other taxes when we ship the equipment to Kenya. That is double taxation and it is stopping millions of Kenyan citizens abroad from investing in their country.

The remittances from Kenya are over Kshs. 500 billion every year even during COVID. Can you imagine how high that would go if Kenyans out here were given the opportunity to buy equipment for investment at home with no taxes imposed on those equipment on delivery?

We could be talking trillions of Kenya shilling investments every year in a very short time. If you want to address that come to us and we will talk.

Adongo Ogony is a Kenyan Human Rights Activist and a Writer who lives in Toronto, Canada

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